I'M FORGIVEN................

I just had to post this....I have been made out lately to be a horrible, bad person, but in reality...it is only my past. I hear this song and know that I'm OK! Those who speak those words know my feelings...those who don't know me .... DONT. But the words below I have copied, show you exactly how I feel daily and what you make me feel and that I'm glad to have HIM forgive me!



Happy Thanksgiving to all!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flT5aIN-XqU q=


Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget

(pre-chorus)
In this life
I know what I've been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

(chorus)
I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I dont have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven

(verse 2)
My mistakes are running through my mind
And I'll relive my days, in the middle of the night
And I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

(pre-chorus)
In this life
I know what I've been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

(chorus)
I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I dont have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven

(bridge)
When I don’t fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘Cause


(chorus)
I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I dont have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven

HAPPY HALLOWEEN....

Melana and I were still very sick so her and I only lasted about 2blks and then came home to lay down. Jackson & Cole stayed with thier Uncles and Mason went to a party dressed like "I have no clue" Kindof a joke and then turned into some kind of fairy austin powers dude...

Costumes for the other kids were Jackson-Clown, Coleson-Toilet, Melana-Dino

The little boys made out pretty big....

I just woke up coughing and so I thought I'd post the pics. Mason has to be up at 4:30am to go on the youth hunt with friends and he is so excited. We made sure he had all his gear ready and then off to bed we went.













In other news since I havent posted much, Melana and Coleson are just getting over viral pnemonia. Cole was almost admitted to the hospital becuz it was in both lungs and his fevers were reaching 104...Doctor decided against the hospital due to all the H1N1 cases, so he sent both kids home on strong antibiotics. Coleson is about 75% better, but Melana just seems the same or maybe worse. Since then, I have gotten the virus they had and am suffering greatly from horrible chest congestion and pain and fevers.
My sister just found out that she has H1N1 so we are stearing clear of her for awhile. I'm hoping that is not what I have too.

Hope you all had a wonderful Halloween!~!!!

oh and by the way....MY SON JACKSON WON TODAY AND IS GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL NEXT SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay Jackson!!! Yay!!! Go 5th Grade Falcons.

OUR CAT IS MISSING!!!!

I just thought I'd mention our cat is missing and my children are devestated. Jackson is the closest to her and he just cannot function at home w/out her. The boys went to his dad's this past weekend and when I picked them up...that is the first thing out of thier mouths "Did you find Penny". Melana was with me all weekend and we kept going out on the patio and Melana would say "Penny, where are you??? Come home Penny...I have your food"

I myself do not care 100% for this cat as she always spreads her litter all over the bathroom, but the kids love her and I am sad knowing that they are sad and that she is out there in the cold, rainy weather.

I put together a flyer to hang on our neighborhood mailboxes. Please pray she comes home. She's been missing since last Thursday. Our next door neighbor saw her by thier fence on Thursday night and Friday, but nothing since.

Here is the flyier that I put together: I blotted out the phone number and address due to some harrasement on here, but here is the flier.




OUR CAT IS MISSING=HELP!!!
HER NAME IS PENNY. SHE IS 1YR OLD AND HAS BEEN MISSING SINCE THURSDAY (10-22-09). SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS. SHE IS BLACK W/BROWN SPOTS.
WE MISS HER DEARLY AND SHE HAS NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE BEFORE. IF YOU SEE OUR PENNY, PLEASE GRAB HER AND CALL ME AT ***-***-****.. Penny lives (************************************.) THANKS SO MUCH!!

I HAVE A GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to sing this song in my church by the end of 2010!!!! I love to sing, am pretty decent at it, but hate to sing in public. I need all the encouragement and prayer to get me to acomplish this very fullfilling goal.

Through all that I've been thru lately and triumphs I have overcome, hurtful words I hear daily and the so many lies and rediculous rumors that fly around from PEOPLE....I have came to love KLOVE 97.3. I have re-located my faith, more than ever and more thru music and gospel than ever!

Please listen to this very wonderful inspirational song. He Lives...He really lives and he is there for me more than ANY friend, family memeber, or chuch.....MY REDEEMER LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a mission sent to me today.....It is gonna happen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN07PPMSvOc

(I dont know how to get links to work on here, so if it doesnt work, just copy and past and LISTEN!)

Wordless Friday....

Just thought I'd post this picture. I thought it was just adorable. She was costume shopping and trying on wigs. I just thought this was so cute.

Amazing Photos....

These pictures of my niece and Melana are simply amazing... They are the first two pictures you will see. These were taken when I was taking pictures of Mason for homecoming at Unity Village. I didnt want to post them on Mason's Homecoming post and take away from his spot light.

I took the first two pictures of my daughter and my darling niece while I was standing more than 50ft away. I think these need to be published somewhere. I am no photographer, but I think these are amazing. Click on them to enlarge and see the full affect.

Kennedy Rae & Melana Renee....



Simply Priceless!!!!!!!!! This is one I will blow up and frame. Bet my sister does too. How do you get a shot like this.



Melana & cousin Kennedy



Melana & cousin Kennedy



My sis, Melissa & her youngest, my niece Kennedy.



My sis & me (Best Sister Friends)

My Baby Is Growing Up....1st Homecoming Dance....

What a special weekend. My oldest son, Mason, went to his first high school Homecoming Dance last night with his beautiful girl, Katie. It was such a precious memory that I will never forget. Katie is just a doll and they are so cute together. I took so many pictures, I had to pick and choose on what to post on here.

Before the dance, my sister came over and took some pictures in our back yard of me and my son, and a couple of her and him. She's his most perfect P.A.M (perfect Aunt Missy)..that's what he calls her, kindof an inside joke.

Anyway, we took several pics at home and then went to a place here in town called Unity Village. It has a rose garden that people get married at. It is a huge fountain and has bushels of roses around it. We met his date and her mother there for pics and then I took them to the dance. Let me tell you that these adorable kids were FREEZING!! I believe when I got out of the car to take pics, it was 42 degrees and the poor girls had such "little" dressses on, no panty hose, and opened toed shoes (to show off those manicured toes :)Lol)....I felt so sorry for them, but they were certainly beautiful.

After about 1hr of picture taking, I took Mason and Katie to Zio's Italian Restaraunt, where they met a group of about 30 other people. I left them there to eat and told them to call when done. They called about 7:10pm (dance started at 7pm) so I rushed to get them and then took them to the High School for the dance. They were so cute. This was the first date I have ever let Mason go on.

Katie's mom picked them up at 10:00pm and dropped a bunch of them off and then brought Mason home (around 11pm). Katie came in with him and they talked to me for a few minutes about how much fun they had and then Katie was so cute and turned to Mason and hugged him. So sweet.

Mason crashed moments later on the couch....he was exhausted from such a long day of nerves, plans, getting ready, meeting the parents, pictures, dinner and dance. He slept till 12:15 this afternoon. :)

I totally enjoyed watching my son grow up right in front of my eyes. He is so handsome and such a good kid. What a great night and memory.

Here are the pics: BEWARE.... there is alot!


Mom & Mason before the dance I love this picutre. I am going to blow it up and frame it.



Mom & Mason before dance.



Mom & Mason before dance.



Mom & Mason before dance.



Mom & Mason before dance.



Aunt Missy & Mason before the dance.



Aunt Missy......STOP KISSING ME. To Cute!



Mason & Sissy before the dance.



Mason and cousin, Kennedy, before the dance.



Mason putting the crosage on Katie's wrist. Precious pictures these next few are!



Katie freezing to death, trying to open the case and get Mason's boutineer out.



Starting to pin it on after Mason said "Do Not Stick Me"!



She's still trying......



And I believe with some concentrations, Katie finally got it w/out any of the moms stepping in to help. She was determined, but look at Mason's face, he was like..please dont stick me, please. Lol



Mason & Katie close up shot.



Mason & Katie



Mason & Katie



Some of the guys...Just some, there were so many of them.



Some of the girls. Do these girls look 14 and 15yrs old to you????



Freezing to death and ready to get in a warm car, buy I needed one more.



Some of the Girls...



More of the Guys...



I made them go over to the bench and pose. So cute.



Mason & Katie



Cute Couples... Mason & Katie and Tyler & Chloe



Cute Couples... Mason & Katie and Tyler & Chloe



Posing in front of the Rose Garden Fountain.



Close up in front of the famous fountain.



This took me over an hour to post...Lol...hope you all enjoy it.

Today Is A Much Better Day!!!!

Today is a much better day. I have realized that I can't change who people are and what they are, but who I am and what I am is what counts. I don't need to focus on making anyone a better parent. One good parent is better than none.

I make sure my kids are well provided for, taken care of and loved. Melana's father and I are doing better. We are working out arrangements and I am praying w/all that I am that his health improves for both him and our daughters sake. He has never been the issue...I know that we will always be connected.

I wanted to say I appreciate your lovely comments "Annonymous" very much so. I have done all that you mentioned, however we are ALL entitled to bad days.

If you only knew all the circumstances to the issues w/my boys father, you might think differently and see things differently with why I have my bad days. My bad days are basically due to the fact that I feel for my boys....NOT for myself.

I also use this blog for my own journaling and for my extended family and friends to keep up w/me and my children. I write what I feel.

Anyway~ Now that that is said, I wanted to say, today is a good day. I did my prayer this morning and have eyes looking out for us always.

Pictures are soon to follow here soon.

I'm Struggling....

I don't know what it is, but I'm struggling. My divorce, the fathers, my children, me working, my health, you name it...I'm struggling.

Any words of encouragement are very much appreciated! :)

Stuff....

I have alot of STUFF going on, but know that things will be OK. I believe I am a very strong individual after all I have been thru and this too shall pass.

On that note.....I am very excited for tonight's season premier of one of my most favorite night time soaps...GREY'S ANATOMY! I even talked my very awesome father into picking the boys up from practice tonight so that I dont miss one second of it.


I love this show! I look forward to watching it every Thursday night. Anyone wanna join me in saluting a brand new season?

Hope you are all well, hope to update soon, when I feel better about things....UNTIL THEN....enjoy life and love your family and friends like this is the only day you have w/them!!!

Love you all!

Rach

Football Weekend + Fun Weekend = Happy Mommy & Kids....

Lots and Lots of pictures. We have continued to be VERY VERY BUSY with football. Between Jax and Cole, we practice 3-4 nights a week from 6-8, putting us home at
8:30ish, just enough time to eat, bathe, finish homework (if they didnt finish it after school at grandma's house) and BED. We are all just completely exhausted. But I have to say, watching these little guys play is so much enjoyment. I totally love it. I find myself upset w/anyone who interupts me while i'm watching them play. So far I have only had to take Melana to three of the six games. But when I do...man is that difficult to watch her and the boys play. Oh well...she loves running around and making me chase her.

This past Monday, the 12th, Cole had a Monday night game.. That doesnt happen to often. I took Melana and she did well, but my parents were there to help along w/my older boys. Cole's team whipped butt 26-0.

Fast forward to THIS WEEKEND.

Friday I got home from work, changed Melana's clothes and headed to the 3rd Grade Panthers (Cole's team) fundraiser at Fuddrucker's Burger Joint. Kids played a while and we ate and then went home to finish laundry so that all thier game gear was ready.....Extra points....Jackson broke his only pair of eye glasses Friday night, or I should say Melana did.

Saturday, we got up very early, got ready, packed snack bad for Lanie cuz we were gonna be at the fields for at least 5hrs. I then had to boogie up as fast as possible to the eye center, praying all the way, that they could fix his glasses (one of the arms broke off). Run him in, find out it's not fixable but that they are insured and all we need is new frames, for free, and she'd put the lens in the new frames, however, NO FRAMES AVAILABLE to fit his lens. So only thing I could do is order some. Well Jax cannot see a thing w/out glasses, and he needed them for football, so I superglued and taped the arm back on. He looks dorky, but at least he could see.

Next we hussle to the fields to be there 1hr early for the warm-ups. Melana, Mason , and Coleson played in the park w/Jackson warmed up and weighed in.

LET ME ADD IN HERE THAT MY TOTALLY AWESOME 2YR OLD IS PRETTY MUCH POTTY TRAINED. So to add to all the chaos going on....she was wearing panties, she had to potty every 10min, she said, and when you potty train, you take them when they say. She did sooooooooooo well and had no accidents during all the fun. She never once forgot to tell me she had to go.

Ok...back to games. Jax played the Mustangs at 12:30 (but it ran late) and it was a tough game, but we won (close game, don't remember score). Jax ALMOST caught a pass and would have scored a touch down, but the ball juggled at his finger tips and he couldnt hold on and dropped it. Incomplete pass. Whaaaaaaaaa. This win places Jackson's team tied for first so far at 3-0.

Cole played at 2pm (warmed-up at 1pm). He played the Bulldogs and we got STOMPED ON! Poor little fellas were just plumb wore out by the end of the game and the score was 33-6. We didnt get a touch down till the last play of the game. Kids were very upset as well as coach, but like I told them, you are never a winner if you never lose. Next game is a whole different day. This places his team at 2-1. Cole looks so dang little on that field. You will see it in the pictures below.

Last night we just hung out at the house and went to bed pretty late.

Today, we have a busy day. Melana will at some point go visit her dad for a while, if he calls, and the boys and I will be heading to the store, to my work, cleaning bathrooms, and cleaning out car. That is my goal anyway.

Ok, so I know i've written a book, but I had to update, ?ya know?

Boys are doing excellent so far in school. Already got mid-terms and the grades are great as usual.

Melana, like I said is just really growing fast. She has been doing the potty training thing, big time, only since Labor Day Weekend. My mom and I decided since we were at the lake, and she couldn't really destroy anything w/pee or poo...we just didnt put her in a diaper the whole weekend, excetpt bed tiime. Since that weekend...she does not wear a diaper at all. She has had, in 4weeks time, maybe 5 accidents. I do put a pull up on her, like when we were at games all day, just in case, but she never had an accident. She is totally digging the new panties, and feels like such a big girl. She will even go into the bathroom, here at home, and get her pants off, sit down and go, and then yell, Mommy...look. So I can wipe her.
She is just growing so fast. It's sad, but I'm so ready to stop buying diapers.

I'm doing ok. Busy = TIRED....but i'm copiing. I finally went ahead and had the divorce papers drawn up a couple weeks ago and we should be signing those this week by Wednesday at which point we will get a court date. Should hopefully be over w/in 60days. It is very hard. It is very sad, but things have changed w/him and it is just the best for all of us.

That's about all that is going on. Hope you've read all the way down for the best part of this post....PICTURES!!! Hey I even snuck a couple in of Mason. That's impossible these days. Enjoy!


Melana's cookie face after Fuddrucker's Football Fundraiser...messy child she is.



Football fields playground, trying to play in the drinking faucet. Notice wet shirt and games hadn't even started.



Mason helping Melana and her friend Meredith get a drink.



Lanie going down the slide. She totally LOVES the park and any slide available.



Snuck in a shot of Mason when he wasnt looking. He will be 15 in December.



#24, my son, Jackson. He is the one in the red & black Falcons uniform.



This was Jackson just standing there when he could have recovered a fumble. Bad Boy.



Here he goes, getting a bit more motivated and had a good block.



This one he was just "following the leader" Lol...he was kindof lazy during this game.



Jackson blocking a Mustang player and our team was able to score the extra point.



Melana stroller bound during the games 1/2 the time. She kept running off and scaring me to death.



#23 Little Coleson (3rd Grade Panthers) Vs (3rd Grade Gators)..this one was on Monday night.




Cole is the one facing us during this play. Look at how little he is on that field.



Going in for the tackle. Go Cole Go!



My little #23. He is such a little guy. Did I already say that? Lol



Warm-ups before the Saturday game. (#23)



More warm-ups - Cole



Team Huddle between plays.



Cole in position during kick off return



Ok...now this was Friday night, when I asked Jax & Cole to collect all laundry upstairs and bring it to me. I hear rukuss going on, knew I'd get a picture of something, so I grabbed camera and THIS is what they were doing. Sledding down the stairs in the clothes basket w/the clothes. Not good, but I just snapped pictures.



Going, Going....and



Gone!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody was injured and that is to NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. But at least I got the photo :)lol




Then it was sissy's turn, only she just slid on the clothes that had fallen out of the basket and were all over the steps. Wild child...gotta keep up w/her bro's.

Couple More Pics of Lanie....

I had another great day with Melana this weekend. Since her Daddy didnt take her Saturday, like normal (he see's her every Saturday)...I got to have her to myself all weekend. Mommy and Lanie. We read so many books, played blocks, hung out w/my friends, and played outside alot. Here are a couple shots from today.

Some Pictures and a Quiet Night....

Jist wamted to thank you all for your prayers regarding my bad days. Very sweet of you, but remember me? I am a tough, strong willed, very blessed mother of four amazing kids. One or two days of stress/sadness could never bring me down. I've been thru way to much and have come out of all of this, how could I not overcome a couple of stressful days dealing w/the kids fathers. They don't get to me...I get to me. I decide how to react, behave and feel, no one but me and like I said, tomorrow is a different and better day.

I had a great evening. Went to dinner w/a friend then went to Home Depot, got some mini blinds for the kids rooms and then just sat around and vegged out like a potato.

I am doing much better and since the boys left tonight to go visit thier father, Melana and I had some "Melana/Mommy" time.

Here are a few pictures from tonight:















Again....thanks to those that are still trying to keep up w/me. So sorry I have been lagging on the Blog.

PS...if anyone reading my blog has a FaceBook...let me know and we will hook up as friends. I have already added some of you, but would love to communicate more w/some of you.

Love to all....

There Will Be A Day....

I have had a rough two days dealing w/the fathers of my children. I cried 1/2 the day yesterday and woke up this morning hoping I'd feel better, but I didnt UNTIL...... I got in my car and heard playing on 97.3FM (KLove-Christian Rock) the song "There Will Be A Day" by Jeremy Camp. I have always loved this song, since it came out, but never has it struck me the way it did today. It is much better if you listen to it and read the words, but for now...I wanted to share w/you a song that has changed my day.

There Will Be A Day lyrics

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

(Chorus)
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more
fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more,
we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

(Chorus)

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will
wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery
this is why this is why I sing

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more
fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more,
we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more
fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more,
we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day, he will wipe away the tears,
He will wipe away the tears,
He will wipe away the tears,
There will be a day.

Potty Success Continues....

Just look at these pictures. What an amazingily adorable, smart, wonderful little 2yr old I have. I cannot believe how well this potty thing is going. She is just doing amazing. She wore big girl (training undies) at the Lake all weekend and only had two accidents and she is going at my parents every day and tonight she wore undies from 6pm to 10pm and went in the potty every time. She pee's and poo's and wants to go. I am so proud of her. Here are a couple shots of her from today.

Picture #1 is right before I got home from work (she was with my parents) and she was sitting on her new potty my mom got her and reading her book. Enlarge the picture and look at the book title. Cutest picture ever!



And this one was taken right before bed, in her little training underwear. She is totally proud of them.




I cant believe what a lucky person I am to have such amazing children.